Thursday, February 01, 2007

Danny's Doing's


Greetings all!

It's time to point out the differences between Canada and Guatemala. You all know what Canada's like, so I'll just say the Guatemala part.

1. Toilet paper's not allowed in the actual toilet. They should probably change the name to "garbage can paper," because that's where it goes. If you're nice, you'll fold up the toilet paper before you throw it in the garbage can so that it doesn't look gross and it doesn't smell too bad. And if you DO throw it in the toilet by accident, it's only courtesy to go in there and pick it out. I had to do it once. Luckily there wasn't any no. 2 in there, only no. 1. I guess the sewage system can't take a lot of TP or else they'll get all clogged and then they'd have to break up the cobblestone road just to get to the pipes.

2. Firecrackers! They're not just for celebrating Canada Day or the May 2-4 weekend, they're for 5 in the morning and for all throughout the day too! If you've got money, why waste it on something useful like food or shelter? Buy firecrackers and you'll be entertained for days on end! Seriously though, it's as pointless and confusing as the fountain of lactating mermaids in Antigua Central Park.

3. Contrary to popular belief, dogs are not your friend. Only when you see a dog on a leash, you know they're okay. But when you see a dog limping down the street or missing a leg or covered in mud or not moving on the sidewalk, you know it's probably not a good idea to pet them. They roam the streets aimlessly and live on top of houses. Sometimes you look at some roofs and you see them perched down like they own the place. Those are probably under-fed household dogs though, having gone mad from never touching actual earth.

4. Public transportation is an adventure in itself. You can choose from buses, 3-wheeled car/motorbike hybrids called "tuk-tuks", or the malnourished-horse-drawn carriages. The 2nd actual bus ride I went on was insane. There's usually a young kid around 15 years old yelling at everyone on the street, trying to sell the bus ride to people. The bus driver keeps yelling, "Rapido! Rapido!" to everyone coming on because everytime a bus stops, it slows down the whole of traffic. Mind you, these aren't normal city buses, these are often really decrepid or really pimped-out school buses. Anyways, the kid is the guy who takes your money once your halfway to your destination. It's 1.50 Quetzales for a bus ride, which is roughly 20 cents Canadian. And so everyone's crammed in there and the whole thing is speeding down the cobblestone streets, destroying its suspension. Man, good stuff, good times.

5. Store security. You know it. There's no need for cameras when you've got a security guard standing at the front of the store with his shotgun or M-16. It actually makes me feel much more safe. That way no one's gonna try to rob you or anyone at the bank or the Burger King or the McDonald's. The security guard will just pwn 'em with his shotty if they try anything funny.

So I think those are mainly the major differences between Canada and Guatemala. There are others of course, like food and houses and language. Oh yeah, they speak Spanish here. And interestingly enough, when I tried to explain my dad is a carpenter, my host mother thought he built furniture, not houses, because all houses here are built out of cement blocks.

Now I'll take the time to explain what I've been doing so far with my time here.
Actually, about this time last week, I was on my way to Mount Pacaya, one of the active volcanoes around Guatemala City. Yes, I climbed Mount Pacaya. And yes, there was lava. It was wicked-cool. It was totally like Lord of the Rings. At about mid-point, we were in the clouds and there were scarcely any plants, just a rickety stick fence on the ridge of the cliff. Probably the coolest part though, was when we were climbing the black, freshly-formed volcanic rock. We couldn't make it all the way to the top though, because it had just erupted a few hours before (not massively though, I might add) and we were stopped by a flowing river of lava. Yep, I saw lava. Then I joked about forgetting the Ring back at the house.

The day after that, most of us ventured of to the oh-so-touristy town of Panahachel. It's cool there though, because it's on a lake called Atitlan which is surrounded by volcanoes. Around the lake, actually, are 12 little towns named after Jesus' apostles. We took a boat tour of 3 of the towns. The boat ride was cool, but the towns got repetitive fast. There are only so many indigenous people selling their pieces of cloth or other useless items before it can get annoying and repetitive. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but it got really annoying fast. So anyways, I was pretty proud of me, Jake, and Andrew getting the cheapest hotel within our group: 45Q per night, which is about $6.50 Canadian. It wasn't as cozy as a hotel in North America, but it had all the essentials we needed. Oh yeah, then I got dehydrated and had the runs for a day or so. My stomach gets upset every once in a while.

So we're having Spanish lessons every day from 8 in the morning until 12 noon. Yeah, it's pretty long, but they're pretty good. I'm still learning how to speak to my host mother though; it's tough. And I go to bed around 10 here, it's so weird. Guatemalans wake up early and go to bed early, compared to us. Anyways, I should probably wrap this up. In about an hour, we're all going down to Guatemala City where we'll stay in a seminary for the weekend and learn all about the history and culture of Guatemala. Oh yeah, and we'll also get to see the heartbreaking Guatemala City Dump and all the kids searching around in it for things to sell for a petty price.

And on that note, take care!


Danny Fast

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